Being the victim of a crime changes how the world feels. It does not matter whether it was an assault, a robbery, a break-in at your home, violence from a partner, a car crash someone else caused, or fraud that emptied an account you spent years building. Something was done to you that you did not choose, and your mind and body are still catching up.

What is normal afterward

Almost everyone feels some of the following, and none of it is weakness.

Hypervigilance, which means your body stays on high alert, scanning for danger even in safe places. You startle easily and you cannot seem to relax.
Trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or sleeping without nightmares.
Guilt and self-blame, replaying what you could have done differently, even when you know it was not your fault.
Anger that shows up in waves, sometimes at the person who hurt you and sometimes at people who had nothing to do with it.
Numbness, or a feeling of being far away from your own life.
Avoiding the place it happened, the route you took that day, or anything that reminds you of it.

These are the ways a nervous system protects itself after a threat. In the first few weeks, they are a normal response to something abnormal. They tend to ease as your sense of safety comes back.

When to consider therapy

If several weeks have passed and these reactions are still shaping your days, it is worth talking with someone. That might look like turning down invitations because you do not feel safe, missing work because you cannot sleep, or noticing that the memory pops up whenever you try to rest. You do not have to wait for things to get that far, either. Some people come in right away because they want support while they deal with police reports, insurance claims, or a court date. Both reasons are good ones.

If thoughts of not wanting to be here show up at any point, please do not wait. Call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, any time of day or night.

What therapy looks like

We start by making sure you feel steady. Before we talk about what happened in any detail, you learn ways to calm your body when it spikes, so the work never feels like being thrown back into it.

From there, I use two approaches, depending on what you need. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) looks at the thoughts that keep you stuck, like “it was my fault” or “nowhere is safe,” and at the avoidance that keeps your world small. We test those thoughts gently and rebuild your life one step at a time.

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a structured therapy that helps the brain finish processing a memory so it stops feeling so raw. It is especially useful when a specific moment still carries a charge, and you do not have to describe every detail for it to work. I wrote a plain-language walkthrough of what actually happens in an EMDR session, and a short guide to help you decide whether EMDR is right for you. You can read more about how I approach trauma and PTSD as well.

Therapy during a court case

You do not have to wait until the legal process is over to start. Cases can take months or longer, and putting your healing on hold for that long is a real cost. Therapy can run right alongside it. We can talk about how it feels to give a statement, to sit in the same room as the person who hurt you, or to hear the outcome, whatever it turns out to be.

How to pay for it

The insurance and fees page lists the plans I take and what a session costs without insurance. If you are using health insurance, my guide on how to use your insurance for therapy in Arizona walks through what to ask.

If you are in danger right now

If you are being hurt by a partner or someone in your home, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available around the clock at 1-800-799-7233, or you can text START to 88788. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

What happened to you was not your fault, and needing help afterward does not mean you are broken. If you are wondering whether therapy could help with what you are carrying, I would rather you ask me now than wonder for another year.